Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize