I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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