Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
