You don't have asthma, your pregnant
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
