butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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