The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
