It's just like the Real World with babies
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
