Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
