OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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