dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
