so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
