do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
