Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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