Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
