Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
