she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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