This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
