I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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