no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
