I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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