He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
