take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
