Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
