Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
