I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
