definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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