do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
