first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Best friends brother. Beat that.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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