Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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