garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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