Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Randomize
