I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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