porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
