Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
