i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
