There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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