I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
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