I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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