We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
