Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
