I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
