I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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