Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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