just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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