I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize