hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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