I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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