Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
