I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
