You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
