just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
