He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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