I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
