the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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