I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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