omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
