Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
