Sponge bath it is.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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