You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
