She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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