I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
