South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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