I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
