This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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